Thursday, February 23, 2012

A Mr. Nice Guy.

Sallam all,

Hmmm ... any nice guy here? Well, I am want to stop being one. Oooopppsss .... I never was. The sentence should be, I want to stop being Mrs Nice Lady perhaps, but it sounds funny. Who cares ... it's how I felt.

I just felt sick and tired being the good girl, trying to please everybody at work. Trying to be considerate, trying to be supportive, trying to console one soul, trying to mend difficult situation. I am tired of all these .... when there are people despite how I sincerely try to protect them, they however turn me into a rival. Look at me as a threat. I want to stop being the nice girl (because I am no longer a girl --- ha ha ha ha). But seriously, I want to stop being one. I would play the avoidance act. I will keep a distance from them. I would also try not to cross a path if that will only make them happy.

Above all, I will only do as required by deen, as Allah swt has instructed us to do through al-quran and as-sunnah. No, I am not creating enemies here, I just want to live in peace. It is sad when the people we call FRIEND thinks that we are their rivals and enemies. Well, think as you may. Only Allah knows.

Innamal a'malun binniat .... the first hadith in the 4o collection of hadith.


h-index: To Play Smart, To Play Dirty?

Salam all,

What is life to me? Everything is surround by work! work! work! Does the 24hrs given to me are to only complete the office task?? I wish that it's not true, however, it looks like it.

Today, during the meeting, the Dean reveals a not very pleasant news ... it's about the h-index. To academic world, to lecturers specifically, h-index is everything that matters. Why? Because you are rated by your h-index for promotion. People not only ask about how many papers do you have, but also about what is your h-index. h-index here, h-index, everywhere is an h-index. What is it anyway? Why is it so significant in the academic world?

In short, it represents your scholarity in the area of knowledge (as they say). h-index were calculated based on the number of people cited your paper. Based on the understanding that people will only cite your paper if your paper has the substance that is pertinent to body of knowledge. Therefore, h-index will tell if your paper has a significant value in the body of knowledge. That's the reason why h-index is so important in the current academic world.

When more people cite your paper, your index will increase. It means that you need people to cite your papers. How can you make people cite your papers? That is why the title came upon ... some writers might just opt for a smart way (as they call it) or a dirty way (as others look at it) by citing their own papers. By doing this, your h-index will be increased. What do you say about this act? To me, if the article you are writing really calls for you to cite your earlier work, it's OK to cite your own paper. However, if you merely cite your own paper just for the sake of the h-index, it's for the individual to think about it ethically.

Why a sudden howl over the h-index? Well, the rumors were saying that the mobility of a lecturer is going to be based on the h-index. Mobility? To where? Well, with the policy of only to have the Masters program in the main campus, many might be uprooted from where we are now. I pray to Allah, hoping for rumors remain rumors or I might need to opt for an early retirement, Nauuzubillah ......... wallahua'lam

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Kes Rampasan

Salam all,

Friday night, after completing all the day's task, I took a seat on the edge of the bed, feeling very relief .. Ahh .... finally .... I could have the rest. Just to share my hectic day (as though other days are not hectic), it was really, superbly hectic. First, there's a workshop to attend organized by the department, I must give a strong support to activities organized by the department, unity for success as one person said it. But, (2) it was also the last day to recalculate students result and I've noticed some discrepancies in the result, therefore this has to be the top most priority. At the same time (3), there's also a meeting with UPSI for a tiny project I am currently working with, and they have been texting me to come, this is also important to me. And(4) It's the last day to submit the FRGS form for the grant application. To add to the hectic schedule, a call came from the dean's office calling me for a meeting when it was already 5.15pm when I was about to leave to fetch my kids from school. It was really a ...... %^%#$#$^&*(* ---- no words can describe it. I was scratching my head, not knowing which to do first.

Back at home, at 8pm, send Sabrina for her tuition class, 9pm send Mawaddah (my niece) to the bus station to go back to Dungun, 10pm fecth Sabrina back from tuition -- That is the reason why having the opportunity to finally sit comfortably was a great plelasure --- Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the strength to complete all the task.

While sitting on the bed before lying on it, I grabbed my handphone. There's someone I missed and need to listen to the voice. The little ones were already sleeping, and now I need to listen to my eldest's voice. I pressed her number few times --- no answer. I was not very comfortable. I could sense that something was not right.

Saturday morning, I tried calling her again. Still no answer. And at almost 5pm that Saturday, I finally receive a call from an unfamiliar number bearing the area code 09. My instinct was telling me that something was not right. "Ibu!", came the voice at the end of the line. "Ya.", was my short answer. "Handphone kena rampas!", was a statement that confirmed my guess, sense and instint. Atikah's handphone was confiscated during a 'spot checked' the night before at the hostel. Well, rule is rule. Therefore, just accept it. Not only she was sad, I was sad too because I cant't talk to her whenever I feel like doing it anymore. Sob! Sob! Sob!

But .... serve you (us) right!!! Rules are meant to be obeyed not the other way round. It is a lesson well learnt.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Kalau Kasih pada Ibu dan Bapa ...

4 Days 3 Nights

Salam all,

4D3N .... this is neither a vacation package nor an umrah package (mana mungkin umrah dalam jangka waktu sebegitu). This is more like a visitation package (as I called it). 4-7 February, there goes our last long weekend for the year. The first long weekend was during the Chinese New Year and during that time we were sprawling at home enjoying the holidays. This time round, its our turn to pay a visit to the elderly, parents and mother-in-law.

4 days sound so lavish, but actually, I barely have enough time to enjoy it. Reached Sg Petani at almost 2pm, by 3pm I hurriedly to Alor Setar, Kedah for the Karnival Jom Masuk U at the Stadium Darul Aman compound. On our way back, we paid a visit to Teluk Kechai, Kuala Kedah for the well known, Laksa Kedah. I cannot remember the last time we visited the place. I guess it was 17 years ago. One significant difference of this famous dish is that it was eaten together with the coconut mixed with chilli ('sambal nyoq' as the Kedahans called it). We bought some to bring home for the family in conjunction with the 'surprise' birthday celebration for Mak Tok.

Only Pak Uda & family, and Pak Cik Li were around. We enjoyed it anyway. It was eat till you burst. Mak Tok was surprised but we cannot capture the surprise moment as Mak Tok was not in hijab then. We had Satay, and some Pasembor too. Mmmmm ... delicious!!!

Next early in the morning, we rushed to PakCik Li's restaurant for a breakfast with Tuan Guru. Well, the actual agenda was for the Tuan Guru to have breakfast with his group there, but as busy body as always, we tagged along. And Farhan was the luckiest as they requested the Tuan Guru to perform 'tahnik' on him. Tahnik is an islamic ritual as a symbol for the baby to face the new world by feeding them with something sweet (normally dates were used) and the holy water zam-zam. And tahnik is best done by an 'alim and for Farhan, it was done not only by an 'alim but also an ulama'. (an Islamic Scholar).

Late evening we head to Kg Pertama to my parents, and to our surprise, K.Nah was already there. It was almost ages since we last met. K.Nah is my eldest sister who stayed in Rawang, but our busy lifestyle prohibit us from visiting one another often, only during eid. Something that I am not proud of, but shame of. We chat till late night, continue in the morning and dragged till noon. K.Nah and family left for Penang Island while I headed to the kitchen to prepare lunch and later prepare a special dish called 'serabai' for tea. After 'asr prayer, when it was almost 5.30pm, I asked bapak whether he wants to go out for sight seeing. And to my surprise, his answer is 'No'. That is his dama time, he is an ardent fan of Indonesian drama which aired from 5.30pm till 6.30pm.

As I have already promised my kids to go out, we went. We went to a never been before, Sg Dua for the mee udang. What? A Penangian has never been to Sg Dua for mee udang? Yup. It's me. Born in Penang but I spent most of my life away from Penang. So, its only a Penangian on IC.

Many people were there, it was delicious, we bought some for folks at home. It was really a feast when K.Nah brought home some roti jala and kuih muih. We have table full of food. We later enjoyed it together when Abang and his family joined in later.

It was truly a wonderful holiday. Being with the loved ones was always a moment to cherish. Thank you Allah for this beautiful moment in life. Alhamdulillah, we managed to make our parents happy and put a smiling face on them.

Early Tuesday morning we started our journey back home to avoid any traffic congestion. Could not wait to go back again.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Work! Work! Work!

Salam all,

It was 30th January 2012, around 11am . . . came a message on screen (sound something like this), "the marks have been uploaded successfully" . . . Alhamdulillah. This calls for a celebration!!!! Finally the responsibility as a lecturer is completed for this semester. And now, perhaps I could take a deep breath . . . inhale . . . exhale. Fuhh . . . a sense of relief.

Not long after, at about 12.30pm, the phone rang, "Dr free tak petang ni? Kita kena discuss pasal Program Selangkah", came the voice from the phone, and Argh . . . it's not ended yet!!!! As a result, I left the office at almost 6pm that evening, went straight to pick up my kids just to see their long face as ibu was late AGAIN.

31st January, I hurried to the office as early as possible. Attending the Amanat Dato' VC. In the afternoon, met with students for FYP discussion and ended the day again at almost 6pm.

Today, after a month in 2012, is 1st February. Again, I was early to the office hoping to settle few things that I promised to do. While reading and replying to the important emails (even before beginning doing the task I am suppose to do), then, came a knock on my door. It was a student, came to collect his FYP reports. While having a discussion with the students, few calls came-in which requires my attention and assistance. I hurriedly attended the request. The clock ticking. It was now 10am . . . there's a meeting to attend. I hurried to the meeting room to join the meeting that has begun. And the meeting ended at almost 12.40pm.

I dashed out of the meeting room to the parking lot. Quickly drove to the school to collect the RM100 distributed to each school children. Since I was already near my house, I stopped by my house to do some house chores. Azan calls for the Zuhr prayer. I quickly perform it and rush back to the office to attend another meeting which ended at 4pm.

Now I got to do the task that I am supposed to do early in the morning. And again, my day ended at almost 6pm. A glimpse at the planner . . . February is going to be a busy month for me as heap of work is waiting. And . . . I am smiling. You choose how to spend your 24hours a day. Spend it wisely.