Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Kepadamu Kekasih

Tiba-tiba terngiang-ngiang pula lagu ini di telinga walau tiada radio yang mengalunkan atau orang yang menyanyikan. Hayati liriknya ... Lagu dan lirik oleh M.Nasir

KepadaMu Kekasih

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku berserah
Kerana ku tahu Kau lebih mengerti
Apa yang terlukis di cermin wajahku ini
Apa yang tersirat di hati
Bersama amali

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku bertanya
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku kembali
Atau harus menghitung lagi
Segala jasa dan bakti
Atau harus mencampakku ke sisi
Tanpa harga diri

Hanya padaMu Kekasih
Aku tinggalkan
Jawapan yang belum ku temukan
Yang bakal aku nantikan
Bila malam menjemputku lena beradu

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku serahkan
Jiwa dan raga
Jua segalanya
Apakah Kau akan menerima penyerahan ini
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku
Dalam keadaan begini

Pengabdian ini hanya pada Allah yang Maha Esa, tiada dua atau tiga.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Kids & Education

It's the beginning of a new year (masihi) ... lot's of things need to be settled especially that relates to kid's education. Many things to consider and think!

Yesterday, i got a call from Syamira's (Hazirah's friend) mother asking where I sent Hazirah for tuition. She was scouting around for a good place to send her daughter for tuition. Hmmm... how concern they are over their child's study. What about me? Not concern??? Damn sure I am concern ...and in fact OVER CONCERN ... I guess. Everybody will. But what was my answer???? No, Hazirah is not attending any tuition at the moment ..... What would Syamira's mother think?

Actually, I am not sure what should I do. Should I force her to tuition classes which according to her did not help or just let her study on her own with me monitoring her study??? I've tried forcing her to go to tuition class last year and as a result of it, I wasted RM180 every month for a very not satisfying result. She did not improve. She improved, actually. During her mid year test, I was so very proud of her, out of 10 classes (40 students in a class), she managed to be at the 52nd place, which mean she deserves to be in at least second class in the school. i was monitoring he strudy very closely then. And she proves it to me that she can performs well. BUT .... during the year end exam, she did baaaaaaddddddly. Very bad. I don't even feel like telling her result to anybody. Who frustrated the most? It was ME who frustrated the most ... I blamed myself for not monitoring her study during the second half of the year!!!!! it was because I thought she could study on her own, she could be independent. But she's not.

Therefore, this year I am gambling. I let her choose where she wants to study but I have to daily check her work. i just hope that I have the strength to be consistent in monitoring her study or else I will blame myself again.

When I think deeper, I thought about myself when I was 15, I was so independent. There was no 'mak' or 'bapak' to force me to study. i was on my own ..... self motivated! Why cant she be like me? independent. Well, I guess that's why they came out with that advert ....."ZAMAN DAH BERUBAH, DUNIA DAH MAJU". May be my way only suits those dayssss ...... Now, parents must think of everything for the kids .......... Is it a good idea????????????????????????

Anyway, i really hope that Hazirah will success in her upcoming exam. Amin.

Friday, January 8, 2010

It's New Year

New Year? Happy New Year? What's the significance of these wishes ... we need the good wishes everyday in our life. And in fact we can request for it ... from whom .... ALLAH ... it's the place for us to beg and appeal. No others can fulfill our wishes except HIM, ALLAH, the only god.

I've never never agree to those wishes .... tapi bawak jugak le anak2 tengok bunga api, only to appreciate the beauty & at the same criticising the money spent on it. However, I admit new year comes with new landscape of life. It happens to me too.

Kids are now in morning school sessions. Nur #1, already in Form three, therefore goes to morning session. Nur#2 and my only Muhammad were transferred to Sekolah Rendah Agama Integrasi, Seksyen 7, Shah Alam, it's a one session school which integrates both academic and islamic in one school session. Good for them, hopefully. At least they do not need to rush to switch from secular school uniform to islamic school uniform. And they're also already at home by 5pm everyday - enough time for them to enjoy the playground everyday. Emmm ... a new landscape of life to the mother (it's me). I've to slightly adjust my routine. I normally cook for dinner after work but not now. Now I have to make sure the meals are ready before i leave for office - penat tu, terkejar2 dan mengejar2. But, i'm sure it's just a small matter. Many mothers have done it before.

About transferring them to SRAI ..... I hesitated at first because thinking about not well-trained teachers (but, it's a hearsay), the high teacher's turn over due to low pay, less infra & bla, bla, bla .... but when I give a deep thought over the matter and a heavy discussion over the pros and cons with my husband, we decided to transfer them anyway. It's because the 'tarbiyah' that we hope the kids will be able to get from the curriculum. I pray hard to ALLAH to grant our desire to transfer them to SRAI only if it's good for them and their akidah. When we got it (a place in SRAI), I'm sure Allah has granted us the best for our kids. Semoga anak-anakku menjadi anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah, yang beriman kepada Allah & Rasul hingga ke akhir hayat. Amin.

Nur#1 sitting for her PMR this year, I have to turn to headmaster when night comes. Not only to read articles, student's report, exam papers, now I also need to check her school work. Well, it's a mother's sacrifice .... & obligation.

Therefore my daily routine now:
6.00am: solat subuh
6.15am: wake the children, and start preparing breakfast + food to bring to school
7.00am: Wait for the bus with the two younger kids. (bukannya jauh pun, depan pagar rumah je...)
7.20am: Send husband-off to office (isteri mithali ..... bye bye suami gi kerja uhuk uhuk uhuk)
7.20am: Hang clothes & start cooking
8.20am: Getting ready for office
6.oo-6.30pm: Back from office to see them ready for dinner
8.00pm: Watch them with their school work
10.00pm: Clean-up the kitchen
11.00pm: Fold clothes
12.00pm: Dozzzzzzzzeeeee offffffff..................... very tired.

Semoga ada ganjarannya buatku di sana asalkan ada keikhlasan dalam hati berbakti untuk suami dan anak-anak kerana Allah.