Nesan Abah

Salam all,

It was one year ago on this day when Abah endured the last breath. Everything came flowing in my mind exactly how it happened.

That Friday evening, 29th April, my children, Nisa, my niece and me when back to 'kampung' on train for Faris, my nephew's wedding ceremony. My husband could not come along as he had to go to the company's team building in Port Dickson. To my kids it was a wonderful experience to sleep on the train. Arriving Butterworth train station that morning, my brother was there to fetch us. Unknowingly, i felt as though I sprained my toe as I found difficulty in walking. But I am in high spirit to attend the wedding. However, during the ceremony the pain worsened.

After the ceremony, I went to see a doctor whom suggested that it could be a GOUT. What!!!! I could not believe it. I was only given the pain killer as the only way to verify whether it is a gout is through a blood test. And as I was not a resident there, doctor advised me to do it at my place. The pain is almost unbearable. I could not even put on my shoe, the toe was swelling. A light pressure on it causes a great a pain and I was suppose to drive to Sg Petani that evening to visit my in-laws!!! Ohhh ....

I was contemplating whether to go or not to go. I eventually decided to go to Sg Petani. I persuaded Maisarah, my other niece to drive us there and stay overnight there. I promised her to come back to my mother's the next day, and Alhamdulillah after much persuasion, she agreed.

We started off right after the Maghrib prayer. As we start our journey, I made Atikah called Mak Tok of our arrival. Mak tok inform us that Pak Uda & family, my brother in law was there and they will wait for us for dinner. It is suppose to take us 25 minutes to reach my in laws. Gosh! Entering the highway there was a massive traffic jam. We were restless wondering when we will arrive. Alhamdullilah, at almost 9.30pm we safely arrive at Mak Tok's.

As we entered the house, Pak Uda & family have already had their dinner. It's OK. They were getting ready to go back to their house which will take almost 30 minutes drive, that is in Guar Perahu, Bukit Mertajam. We salute Mak Tok and asked for Tok Wan (Abah). Abah was already in the bedroom. It seems that he was too tired to sit and walk about. He was even on the wheelchair a day earlier. Even though abah was already in bed, Mak tok made us entered the room to greet Tok Wan (Abah) especially because Atikah has not seen Tok wan for quite some time since she was staying in the hostel. We entered the room shocking to see Tok Wan lying there helplessly. Obviously he was not sleeping but it troubled him to even open his eyes. He put a lazy smile on his face when he saw his grand children. A bigger smile when he saw Atikah, he greeted me and made an effort to ask for bapak's (my father) condition. He then asked for another one of his medicine that he used to take whenever he felt the chest pain. And it seems that he has been taking that countlessly that day. He was in GREAT PAIN. And he was on fever too. I asked whether he wants to go to the hospital, he shook his head helplessly. I was worried. I cautioned Mak (my mother in law) and Nan (my brother in-law) of abah's condition. We promised to persuade him to go to the hospital again the next morning. Looking how worriying abah's condition was, Nan decided to stay for another night and mak decided to call Azali (my the other brother in law who was at his in law's) to come back. And myself, quickly texted my husband to update the situation to him and later went to bed while still in pain.

The next morning, after having breakfast with mak, at about 7.40pm, Mak and me went to see abah, to check on him and to feed him. Mak asked me to feed abah the fried rice that mak made for breakfast. Abah had only two spoonful and declined for more. I later see him taking his medicine. Some went through, some was thrown out. And he asked for more medicine for his chest pain. He was having a heart attack again and again. I pitied him. And I cant bear seeing him in this great pain. I try to softly talked him onto going to the hospital but he shrugged off. We left him to take a rest. Abah's situation is worrying. Earlier in the morning, I called my husband, updating him again when there was no reply from him over my earlier message. It seems that he was sleeping during that time and missed the text. He promised to hurriedly come back after the team building program.

At about 9am, while we were seated at the living room watching the morning TV show, I asked Mak, how is abah doing? Mak entered the room to checked on abah. Suddenly, there was a loud cry, "Ina, abah jatuh!!!', I ran into the room and saw abah helplessly lying on the floor. With my pain toe, I cant really help mak to carry abah. I summoned Nan, who was having breakfast, of the situation. He hurriedly went into the room, and together with mak, they managed to carry abah onto the bed. Abah was unconcious. Everybody was panicked. I called my husband, alarming him of the situation, he asked us to recite the Yassin, quranic verses. I gathered the kids to quickly form a team to recite the surah, while I was beside abah, all the time trying to help him to regain concious, trying to check for his pulse, and saying the syahadah to his ears. Everybody was already in tears at that time. Mak told me to called Mak Nun, the aunt who lives nearby. She later get her son to call a doctor. A doctor came shortly after, and promounced that ABAH WAS NO LONGER WITH US. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO SEE HIS GOD. ALLAH SWT.

It was a silence, everybody was shocked. Atikah was crying, so did the other grand children. Never had they witnessed a death and this time it was the LAST BREATH of someone whom they loved dearly. As the doctor confirmed the death, I called my husband again. He agreed to fly back as soon as possible. Slowly the house filled with crowds of relatives, friends and neighbours. The children of Cikgu Azmi arriving one after another. At about 4pm, my husband arrived, still clad in his team building uniform. He tried to look calm, but I know he was crying inside. He performed his last duty to his beloved Abah, he bathed him for the last time. Wiping the fragile body slowly, carefully with full of love. He then, placed the body softly to prepare for kafan. One by one the children came to pay for the last respect, kissing his forehead for the last time. Followed by the grand children. It was a sad moment. A moment that we wish it will never happen. But the rule of life is not to be denied. No human life will stay forever. Everybody must go. No matter whether you are ready or not. No matter whether you are being loved or otherwise.

Abah was laid to rest peacefully after the Asr prayer. Cikgu Azmi was no longer with us. A reality that we must face. Abah has left us forever. It was on this day, one year ago.

Muslim readers, I am begging you to please recite Al-Fatihah for my kind and loving father in law. I only known him for 16 years, but he was sure a role model. An obedient and responsible son, a good husband and a firm and caring father who has brought the children into a good human being.

Al-Fatihah to Abah.

Wassalam.