Was very busy lately that I even forgotten my mother's birthday on the 1st of December. Happy belated birthday mak! You are the world (ini tiada kena mengena dengan World yang selalu disebut-sebut orang yang sorang tu yea!).
Saturday balik ke kampung. Reach Kg Pertama at about 2pm. Saw bapak lying on the bed, helplessly. It's not him. He was not like this before. He was full of smile always, but not today. He kept to himself. Very silent. A lazy smile came out at the corner of his mouth when he saw us. When told that I bought him a Nasi Arab, his smile widen. I am very happy to make him happy. At about 4pm, we left bapak to go to Sg Petani.
Sunday, went for the engagement ceremony of my nephew in Kuala Nerang, Kedah. Late that evening, before leaving Sg Petani for Kg Pertama, we stopped at a Restoran to buy some murtabak. Reaching Kg Pertama, I saw bapak was still there, lying on the bed. Trying to get up into a sitting position with difficulty. When my kids try to reach his hand, he opened his eyes and put the happiest smile to see his grandchildren. "Bapak, Ina beli murtabak, bapak nak?", I asked immediately. Bapak nodded and keep on smiling. Atikah quickly cut the murtabak into pieces and hand it over to bapak. Bapak ate the murtabak happily. Bapak has not been eating happily for few days now. He eats because he has to. Allah has taken his appetite, and I really hope it is only temporary. That night, i slept beside bapak.
Bapak is not himself. He was unable to walk steadily. He needs assistance to stand up and walk. I can see him agonizing, pain each time he wants to stand up. His sleeps are not sound anymore. He tossed over and over and over during the night. He uttered a word with difficulty. His solat is not proper anymore as he sometimes forgot the steps, I am not sure whether he got his recitation correct.
Monday, we have to leave. Life goes on. We left half-heartedly. Bapak was still there, lying on the bed or sometime sitting at the edge of the bed. I am not sure whether he is aware of what is going on around him.
Ya Allah! Kami redha dengan ujian ini kerana kami yakin ujian ini akan mendekatkan kami kepadaMu ya Allah. Aku pohon padaMu Ya Allah, semoga ujian kesakitan ini akan mengkafarah segala dosa-dosanya yang lalu. Dan Kau jadikanlah akhir hayatnya sebagai orang yang beriman. Ya Allah! Kau berikanlah kesabaran serta kekuatan kepada ibuku untuk menjaga bapaku. Ya Allah, ampuni dosaku atas kekuranganku dalam menjaga ibubapaku.