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PhD oh! PhD

Dah lama tak update blog ni. Hari ni terasa nak meluahkan perasaan.

PhD Oh! PhD ....

Seronoknya melihatkan ucapan tahniah yang diberikan oleh pelbagai pihak bila ada sesama kekawan yang berjaya melepasi viva. Aku ni bila lagi????? Kenapa la susah sangat nak menulis ni. Bila bersemangat sikit ... tulis sikit ... ada aje kerja yang nak kena buat.

Azam baru ni ... setiap hari akau kena update at least 10 pages of my thesis. Setakat ni dah berjaya identify areas yang perlu ditambah. Kena berusaha! Mesti berusaha! Macam mana lagi aku nak motivate diri sendiri.

I've always tell others who are about to do their PhD, the most important thing in doing PhD is your inner strength. My inner strength? Where are they?

Aku selalu membayangkan kekuatan dan semangat untuk terus berjuang dalam PhD ini seperti lilin yang menyala. Ketika mula dinyalakan, apinya membakar dengan marak sekali, lama kelamaan, apinya hampir terpadam apabila ditiup angin. Perlu bangkit semula, menepis anasir angin tadi untuk terus menyala. Aku ibarat lilin yang sudah hampir penghujung. Aku MESTI terus menyala sebelum kesemua sumbuku habis terbakar.

Please help .....................

"Ya Allah. Hanya padaMu aku bermohon agar aku terus diberi kekuatan untuk menyipkan penulisan ku ini."



Ada kalanya seolah2 apa yang aku lakukan ni, tiada apa yang boleh dibanggakan sedangkan bila melihatkan apa yang dilakukan oleh orang lain, lebih kurang je .... of course dalam bidang yang sama.

Dulu2 aku selalu berdoa, agar aku tidak diberikan PhD sekiranya dengan PhD itu boleh menimbulkan riak dan bangga diri dalam diri ini. Mungkin sebab itu lah aku belum berjaya menyiapkannya, sedangkan aku bukan orang yang sebegini semasa belajar sebelum ini. Tapi rasanya, sekarang ni sudah tidak ada lagi rasa bangga diri tu, sebaliknya rendah diri pula kerana orang yang buat lebih lambat dari aku pun dah berjaya menyiapkannya.

Aku berazam, aku mesti menyiapkannnya. Semoga kekuatan dalaman ku kembali lagi.

"Hanya padaMu Ya Allah aku pohon keredhaan terhadap apa yang aku kerjakan ini" Amiiin.







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